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The Quality of Your Questions

by | May 30, 2024 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Goal Setting Conversation, Growth and Development, Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Questions, Mentoring Relationships, Supporting Mentors and Mentees

The best mentor-mentee relationships thrive on curiosity and powerful questions. Mentors should resist the urge to “fix” problems and avoid prescribing specific actions. Mentees should focus less on being who they think their mentor wants and more on approaching interactions with a willingness to learn, grow, and discover how to think.

I am always seeking great questions to facilitate these interactions. Recently, I discovered three excellent questions while listening to the audiobook Clear Thinking* by Shane Parrish. Parrish suggests that when seeking advice, your goal should be to understand how the other person thinks, not just what they think. Although his book is not specifically about mentoring, the questions he proposes can be highly beneficial for both mentees and mentors.

Questions Mentees can ask their Mentors
Mentees might ask….

1. What variables would you consider if you were in my shoes?
How do these variables relate to one another?

2. What do you know about this problem that I don’t?
What can you see based on your experience that someone without it cannot?
What do you know that most people don’t?

3. What would your process be for making this decision if you were in my shoes?

Questions Mentors can ask their Mentees
These questions are also valuable for mentors. Instead of offering solutions or suggestions, mentors can prompt their mentees to reflect by asking:

1. What variables in this decision are important to you?
Who else or what else does this decision impact?

2. What are you most worried about in making this decision?
What possibility excites you the most?

3. What have you tried so far?
What do you think is the best process for this decision?

These questions encourage reflection and empower mentees to solve both the current problem they are facing and future problems. They also enable mentees to develop authentic solutions that fit their unique needs, values, and learning styles.

What questions have you used to encourage clear thinking in your mentoring relationships?

*Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish: (Farnam Street, 2023, ISBN: 0593086112)

The quality of your questions

Ikigai and Moai Principles Offer a Transformative Mentoring Approach

by | Jan 19, 2024 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Group Mentoring, Growth and Development, Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Relationships

Written by: Angela McGuire | January 2024

Over the past year I have had the privilege of participating in the genesis of a Blues Zones city in the southeastern region of the United States. Blue Zones employs evidence-based solutions to help people live better and longer by making healthier choices easier where people live, work, learn, and play (www.BlueZones.com). Ikigai and Moai are two of the tenets intertwined in the Blue Zones model for living a healthier life.  Though these concepts aren’t specific to mentoring, exploring their relevance to mentoring relationships unveils a unique synergy that fosters personal growth and connection.

Ikigai, often described as the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for, serves as a compass for individuals seeking purpose. When applied to mentoring, it becomes a guiding principle for both mentors and mentees, encouraging them to align their passions, skills, and contributions within the mentoring dynamic. Mentors, driven by their Ikigai, can provide more meaningful guidance. By identifying their own purpose and values, mentors can inspire and be a guide to their mentees as they explore their own unique intersections. This alignment facilitates a deeper connection and a more authentic mentoring experience. For mentees, understanding their Ikigai helps them set clear goals and expectations. It empowers them to actively seek mentors whose experiences and values resonate with their own Ikigai. This intentional approach contributes to a mentoring relationship that goes beyond skill development, nurturing personal and professional fulfillment.

Moai is a Japanese term for social support groups which emphasizes the importance of community and shared experiences. In mentoring relationships, Moai principles encourage the formation of supportive networks around the mentor-mentee relationship. This collective support system amplifies the impact of mentoring, providing diverse perspectives and shared wisdom. The research of mentoring scholars like Kathy Kram and Belle Rose Ragins shows the power of developmental networks such as these on mentee growth. Kram and Ragins (2007) encourage those in mentoring relationships to not only take part in developmental networks but to strengthen their value through mutual learning and fostering more connections. Mentors and mentees can engage in group discussions, collaborative projects, and shared learning experiences. This not only enriches the mentoring process but also creates a supportive network that extends beyond individual pairings. By intertwining Ikigai and Moai dynamics in mentoring, a collective sense of purpose emerges. Mentoring relationships go beyond individual journeys but also contribute to a broader community with shared values and goals. This interconnectedness enhances the overall impact, creating a ripple effect of positive influence.

In mentoring relationships, the incorporation of Ikigai and Moai principles offers a transformative approach. Mentors and mentees, driven by their unique purpose, find enhanced meaning and fulfillment in their journey together. As the mentoring landscape evolves, embracing these Japanese concepts can pave the way for more purposeful and connected relationships.

Ragins, B. R. and Kram, K. (2007). The Handbook of Mentoring at Work. Sage Publications, Inc.

Top Ten Reasons to Buy The Mentor’s Guide, Third Edition

Top Ten Reasons to Buy The Mentor’s Guide, Third Edition

by | May 8, 2022 | Uncategorized

Major Changes to the 3rd Edition

Major Changes to the Third Edition

Since the first edition appeared in 2000, interest in and knowledge about adult learning and development has grown exponentially. We now recognize that adult learning is more than a cognitive process; it is a multidimensional phenomenon. The uniqueness of the adult learner has been accentuated over the last decade as we continue to learn about more the complexities of the brain, multiple types of intelligence, and our emotional selves. All of this has meant fundamental changes for mentoring, and for this guide. Among the major changes:

  1. A full two chapters are now devoted to the importance of context and connecting in mentoring, including an exploration of the context of difference and the context of how people come together to connect with one another in the relationship.
  2. Conversation between mentors and mentees are drawn from actual mentoring experiences in a variety of situations, including business, government, nonprofit, and higher education, and reflect the diversity of the global workplace.
  3. There is more discussion and emphasis on mentoring relationships embedded in  context including a consideration of the context of other differences—sexual orientation, gender, and race—in the mentoring relationship, with many examples 
  4. The chapter on the context of connection has been expanded to include physical, virtual, and personal context, with special attention to how virtual mentoring connections  offer new ways to create and enhance positive mentoring relationships.
  5. The section on mentoring matches addresses seeking, selecting and evaluating a potential mentoring relationship.
  6. Additional examples have been included along with an enhanced mentor skills list and updated approaches for starting your mentoring relationship.
  7. The goal setting process has been expanded from SMART goals to SMARTer goals, adding to the specificity and measurability of the process.
  8. There is an enhanced conversation guide to help mentors evaluate mentee learning goals, full consideration of emotional triggers that impact mentoring and guidance for co-creating your mentoring partnership 
  9.  Includes more emphasis on trust, including the dynamics of self-trust and interpersonal trust
  10.  Includes updated and enhanced content on feedback including how to get back on track when stumbling blocks get in the way. Explores the dynamics of the feedback process with many more examples and a feedback checklist for mentors.
Pre-Order Your Copy

WeMentor Podcast Mini-Series Pt. 3: A Rare Look Inside a Mother and Daughter’s Transition of Ownership

by | Jan 17, 2022 | Uncategorized

The Center for Mentoring Excellence has always been run by women passionate about mentoring. But did you know that CME is a family business? The third part of the WeMentor podcast mini-series features Dr. Lois Zachary and Lisa Fain. They discuss what worked for them in passing the baton from mother to daughter, and how mentoring played a role in their successful transfer. 

 

Listen to the Episode

WeMentor Podcast Mini-Series Pt. 1: Mentoring Excellence with Dr. Lois Zachary

by | Nov 8, 2021 | Uncategorized

To honor National Mentoring Day (10/27) and International Mentoring Day (10/29), the podcast WeMentor, hosted a three-part mini-series featuring the Center for Mentoring Excellence.

Check out part one of the series, where the founder of Center of Mentoring Excellence, Dr. Lois Zachary, discusses how she became an author, Ph.D. graduate, and entrepreneurial leader.

Listen to the Episode Here

Finding the Right Mentor

Finding the Right Mentor

by | Sep 13, 2021 | Uncategorized

I’m a bit of an introvert, and by a bit, I mean when I’m at a party, you’ll find me in a corner hanging out with the dogs. So when I think about a mentoring relationship, the hardest part is starting the relationship. Who do I ask? How do I ask? In this NPR Lifekit episode, Lisa Fain, CEO of Center for Mentoring Excellence, discusses finding the right mentor and how to ask them to be your mentor.

Listen to the Episode
3 Fun Resources (About Mentoring)

3 Fun Resources (About Mentoring)

by | Aug 30, 2021 | Uncategorized

For a change of pace, here are a few resources (2 that are unlikely) related to mentoring.

#1 – A great Ted X talk

Check out this great TEDx Talk by University of Maryland professor Dr. Kimberly Griffin. There are great references to Marvel comics and reality TV, as well as three critical takeaways:

  • Remember mentoring is about relationship.
  • Don’t seek one mentor to provide answers to all your questions. Instead, create a group of mentors who can provide a variety of guidance.
  • Be mindful of the rule of reciprocity — Think about what you have to give to your mentors, not just what you have to get.

 

 

Watch Here!
screenshot from her TEDx Talk via YouTube.

Dr. Kimberly Griffin during her TEDx talk

You can find Dr. Kimberly Griffin on Twitter: @doctorkag

screenshot from her TEDx Talk via YouTube.

Find Cara Allwill Leyba on IG: @thechampagnediet

#3 – A Classic film

I first saw Cinema Paradiso when I was a teenager, and I remember getting goosebumps then.  I still love this film, which reminds us how a mentor’s voice can shape us, stay in our heads, and guide our decisions long after the mentoring period has passed.

     

     

    Get the movie here

    #2 – A Poem

    This poem reminds us that we are constantly evolving the importance of taking ownership of our learning and growth.

    Worthy by Cara Alwill Leyba (from the book, Stripped),

    You must aggressively
    detox yourself
    from negative thoughts,
    poisonous people,
    and disempowering beliefs.
    You must believe
    with every thread of your heart
    that you are worthy.
    You must make your personal evolution
    a full-time job.

     

     

    Get the book here