Why is it so hard to listen?

Given that we have had an entire lifetime to develop our listening skills, why is it that many of us are such poor listeners?  One thing is very clear:  while we have had formal training on how to read, write and communicate, most of us have had no formal training on how to listen.

Why is listening so hard? (more…)

Coming to Closure

The final phase of the mentoring cycle, coming to closure, offers a wonderful opportunity to reflect on learning, raise the bar on future performance and celebrate success.

Mentoring partnerships that complete their learning goals and those that do not, both benefit from a positive closure experience. How mentors and mentees seek to move on is often as important as the lessons they have learned in the relationship. (more…)

Mentoring at Work

No matter how well you articulate mentoring goals, define the process and celebrate milestones, finding the path- the rhythm- of a mentoring relationship takes time. This is why enabling, the third phase, takes the longest to complete.

Mentoring unfolds in many different ways. While some relationships just seem to flow, others meander. What makes the difference? (more…)

Establishing Agreements

People often underestimate the importance of the the second phase of the mentoring cycle, negotiating. Mentoring partners who have known each other a while or share a power/status differential in the relationship are most apt to skip this phase. Often, as a result, mentoring partners end up disappointed that the relationship doesn’t work out as anticipated. (more…)

Circle of Trust

We want others to be worthy of our trust and become resentful when, by their actions or lack thereof, they breach our trust. We then expect them to repair the relationship.  When we don’t see them making an effort to do so, we become even more disillusioned. (more…)