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Have You Set the Right Tone for Mentoring Success?

Have You Set the Right Tone for Mentoring Success?

by | Mar 21, 2016 | Goal Setting Conversation, Growth and Development, Mentoring Relationships, Supporting Mentors and Mentees

The Importance of the First 90 Days

It’s a fact: The first 90 days sets the tone for your mentoring relationships! According to Lory Fischler, co-author of Starting Strong (Jossey-Bass 2014), “Many mentoring relationships don’t actually survive the three-month milestone. That’s because they start with good intention and energy but get derailed by lack of time, structure, purpose, progress and accountability.”

We’ve identified six essential conversations that we believe ought to take place during the first 90 days of a mentoring relationship to ensure that it starts strong and stays focused. These conversations set the tone for mentoring success.

Conversation #1: Mentoring partners often jump into mentoring too soon and fail to take the necessary time to get to know one another. When mentoring partners spend time to build their relationship by engaging in real conversation, they are better able to establish the high level of trust that is critical for learning and growth.

Conversation #2: Once trust has been established, it is time to decide how to structure your mentoring relationship and your meetings so that you stay on track. By proactively talking about ground rules, confidentiality, hot buttons and boundaries, mentoring partners avoid problems along the way.

Conversation #3: A robust series of conversations about the mentee’s goals is often more important than the process of formally defining them. Through conversation an effective mentor facilitates mentee understanding about his or her needs and the areas of potential growth necessary to meet those goals.

Conversation #4: Once goals have been identified, it’s time to talk about how to achieve them. This is accomplished by identifying learning opportunities to support and challenge the mentee — to encourage a mentee to stretch and stand outside his or her comfort zone. This where true growth and development occur.

Conversation #5: Along the way, there may be stumbling blocks that get in the way of the relationship. Holding a conversation to address them as soon as they occur keeps the focus on progress and forward movement.

Conversation #6: The three-month milestone is ideal for holding a two-way feedback check-in conversation. By addressing meaty questions (i.e., “What has been the biggest learning to date? What are we doing that is providing value? What is working and what could be better?”) both mentor and mentee receive feedback that enables them to elevate their individual skills.

You won’t want to miss our day-long conference, Making Mentoring Matter: Strategies and Tools for Individual Development and Organizational Effectiveness on Wednesday. May 4, 2016 in Bellevue, WA., where Lory Fischler will be presenting a workshop entitled “Starting Strong: The First 90 Days.”

7 Mentoring Lessons from Shark Tank

7 Mentoring Lessons from Shark Tank

by | Dec 11, 2015 | Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Relationships

While you may not have seen Shark Tank on TV, chances are you’ve heard of it.

In each episode, would-be entrepreneurs who have struggled for years to get their product or idea to market enter the “shark tank” where they meet a panel of potential investors, called “Sharks” who will help them realize their dreams . . . for a price.

Each entrepreneur has 2-3 minutes to convince five savvy Sharks that their product and passion is worthy of investment, time and financial support. Having a Shark on their team may position them to capture the attention of big retailers like Walmart or Costco and give them access to a huge customer base. It is no wonder that an entrepreneur gains confidence and renewed energy with a Shark on their team.

During each 30-minute episode of Shark Tank, the Sharks challenge each entrepreneur. They ask probing questions. How contestants respond offers keen insights and important messages about what you need to do to be successful as a mentee.

The Seven Lessons:

1.     It isn’t enough to have an ambition or a dream. Sharks are interested in more than just a good idea. They are investing in you as much as they are in your product. It is your drive and passion that will make a difference.

Mentoring message:  To enlist the support of a high-powered successful mentor, demonstrate passion and energy for your career growth and development.

2.     Successful entrepreneurs craft concrete business plans that create and grow market share. Sharks are tenacious in dissecting plans to ensure they are realistic and are likely to succeed.

Mentoring message:  Mentoring is more than interesting conversation about an idea. Mentors deepen their investment in you when they see you have a plan and make steady progress towards achieving concrete results.

3.     Sharks are tough.  They ask hard questions and expect answers.  They expect their time to be well spent and rewarded.

Mentoring message:  Do your homework and come prepared.  You need to be primed for meetings with your mentor.

4.     Swimming with sharks is not for the faint of heart.  You may hope to hear praise, but expect honest and straightforward feedback that will make your idea better.

Mentoring message:  Mentors provide support and frank and candid feedback that you may receive in your work world.  Embrace it.  Act on it.

5.     A good idea can be easily dismissed if it doesn’t catch the Sharks’ attention.  Polish and presence sell an idea.  If you lack confidence or good presentation skills, you won’t get very far.

Mentoring message:  Presence is an important quality for leadership success. Mentors and others gravitate to people who articulate ideas in a persuasive way.  Work on your communication skills.

6.     Sharks can offer three things: money, access to markets and business acumen.  They aren’t going to run your company or tell you what to do to be successful.  Ultimately, you are in the driver’s seat.

Mentoring message:  Mentors aren’t going to tell you what to do either.  They can help you expand your network and perspective, but it is up to you to drive your direction and do the work.

7.     When Sharks make a deal, they celebrate the agreement.  They hug. They shake hands.  They end on a high note.

Mentoring message:  Take time to celebrate and show appreciation. Showing emotion and enthusiasm is part of the special relationship between mentors and mentees.

Action Item: Try watching Shark Tank to see what you learn!

What Do You Do With An Idea?

What Do You Do With An Idea?

by | Jun 12, 2015 | Growth and Development, Making Mentoring Work For You

 

By: Lois Zachary

I was excited to see What Do You Do With An Idea? hit the Wall Street Journal top ten bestselling hard cover nonfiction book list. I received my copy of Kobi Yamada’s book more than a year ago as a thank you gift from my mentee, Linda.

I treasure it because it came from her and because the story parallels our mentoring journey together. Like the character in the story, she developed the confidence and competence she needed to take her ideas, grow them and significantly influence others as they blossomed.

Mentees come to us with ideas, ideas they may not yet have articulated, even to themselves. They may have snippets of ideas, glimmerings of ideas, or even half-baked ideas.

Once they surface in conversations with us, our mentees begin to wonder what they are going to do with their ideas — where they are going with them or if they’re worth doing anything with it at all.

Ideas have a habit of clinging to us like sticky paper. Our ideas remain in our heads even when not pursued — after all, they are our ideas. Some mentees lack the confidence to share their ideas for fear of embarrassment or rejection.

In the Yamada story, a child’s idea begs for his attention. He ignores it (even though it still bubbles up from time to time) until one day he summons up the courage to talk about his idea. And, when he does, the reaction to it is negative and gives him pause, but only for a short while. He begins to dream about his idea. Dreaming energizes him — makes him feel more alive. His confidence grows alongside the passion for his idea.

IdeaAs he becomes more self-aware, his worldview and perspectives expand. He discovers that having different ideas is okay. He comes to own his idea because it is, after all, his.

I think the book jacket sums it up nicely: This “is a story to inspire you to give your ideas some time and space to grow and to see what happens next.”

“Lois, when I came across this book, I knew it was what I wanted to give you as a thank you. You have worked with me, with my head full of scattered ideas for four years now, and you have influenced me so much by your ideas.”

Thank you, Linda! I can hardly wait to hear about your next idea.

Top 10 Best Practices for Mentees

by | May 15, 2015 | Facilitating Learning

 

We recently talked about the top ten best practices for mentors. But what about the mentees? Don’t worry, we have you covered!

Here are top ten mentee best practices from our 2015 Mentoring Matters Reader Survey:

1. Focus on achieving learning goals

  • Learning is the purpose and the payoff of mentoring. It’s easy to get sidetracked and lose focus. After three cups of coffee and little work on leadership development, mentoring fizzles out. Goals help you stay focused, moving in a positive direction, and  benchmark your progress.

2. Expect to drive the mentoring relationship   

  • Mentors are not mind readers. Be prepared to ask for what you need, when you need it. They won’t know what you need unless you tell them.

3. Create SMART goals that will contribute to your development

  • Fuzzy goals result in fuzzy outcomes. Make sure your goals are crystal clear to you and your mentor. Goals need to be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. 

4. Be authentic, open and honest

  • Your willingness to be vulnerable makes a significant difference in your growth and development. If you pretend that all is perfect, your mentor will never get to know the real you, and you will miss out on real learning opportunities.

5. Prepare for all mentoring meetings

  • Advance preparation for mentoring sessions will save time, make meetings more efficient and result in more meaningful learning.

6. Stay connected and in communication with your mentor

  • Utilize multiple ways to stay connected to your mentor. Regular and consistent communication is the name of the game, whether it’s face-to-face, email, Skype or telephone calls, the operative word is “and.”

7. Be willing to stretch and step out of your comfort zone

  • Expect your mentor to challenge you with questions and learning opportunities that might take you outside your comfort zone. They may initially make you uncomfortable, but the stretch is what will maximize your learning.

8. Ask for specific feedback

  • Your mentor’s honest and candid feedback will contribute to your self-awareness and get you to the next level. Practice asking for specific feedback and be prepared to receive it without being defensive.  Share feedback with your mentor and act on what you hear.

9. Focus on the future

  • It’s easy to get bogged down in day-to-day issues instead of focusing on your future. Keep in mind that mentoring creates momentum towards your future development. Be prepared to articulate your vision for yourself so that you and your mentor can create strategies for your future success.

10. Keep a journal

  • You will want to make notes of conversations that reflect your learning, and also track your mentoring progress. A journal is a great place to record insights and questions in preparation for mentoring meetings.  Although keeping a journal requires discipline and practice, it’s well worth the effort.

If you have other best practices that you’d like to add, please let us know!